If used effectively, your posture, gestures and voice can assist in everything from landing a job to landing a partner.
Powerful Ways to Use Body Language
1. To Land a Job
Instead of sitting poised in the waiting room, run through a couple of power poses – such as raising your arms in a V, or standing with your hands on your hips – in the bathroom or lift. Research from social psychologist Amy Cuddy has shown that holding these postures for just two minutes can lower stress and increase feelings of power.
2. To Connect with Your Partner
If your significant other holds one of his wrists and raises it in front of his body, he could be feeling hurt or sad. “It may appear that he’s adjusting his watch, but it could be a sign that he’s insecure,” says body language expert Patti Wood. Offer a few comforting words or a hug so he’ll lower his protective shield.
3. To Calm Kids
A slow voice has a soothing effect, while a loud, fast voice can stimulate anger or fear, according to a University of Maryland, Baltimore County, study. Teach your kids these benefits by playing a game with them during which you say a sentence, pausing for five seconds between words.
4. To Entice a Dinner Date
If you want to convey interest, do what match.com, a dating site for singles, calls the Reach. Rest an arm and hand on the table with your fingers pointing to the other person. If you’re not feeling the spark, sit on your hands to conceal them.
5. To Bond at Work
Give a high five. Making physical contact with another person for as little as 1/40th of a second can create a human bond. Touch also boosts oxytocin, which increases feelings of trust, and lowers cortisol, which reduces stress.
6. To Lose Weight
A study published in the Journal of Consumer Research showed that dieters who flexed their arm muscles when offered a choice between a chocolate and an apple were more likely to make the healthy choice than those who didn’t clench their muscles.
7. To Be Creative
Gesture with both hands while brainstorming. When Singapore researchers asked subjects to come up with unique uses for a building complex, those who talked out solutions with both hands had more creative ideas than those who brainstormed with just one hand.
8. To Speak Persuasively
A low-pitched voice inspires confidence from those around you, according to a study from McMaster University in Canada. You don’t have to fake it – relax before speaking by keeping your lips together and repeating mmm-hmm a few times, suggests Forbes’ body language expert Carol Kinsey Goman. Stress can constrict your vocal cords, making your voice come out higher than usual.
9. To Correct A Mistake
Mind your chin, says Greg Hartley, a former US Army interrogator and a body language expert. If it’s too high, you look indignant; too low, you look weak. Keep your chin centred to exude confidence and compromise.
The Cradle of Humankind, in Gauteng, is home to 40% of the world’s discovered human ancestor fossils. The Maropeng visitor centre offers impressive exhibits of the 3.5 million-year evolution of man, plus the opportunity to gaze at the stars as storytellers recount the daily life of our human ancestors. This UNESCO World Heritage Site is a 40-minute drive from Johannesburg.
Vredefort Dome is the world’s oldest meteorite impact scar, or astrobleme. With a radius of 190km, it is also the largest and the most deeply eroded. Situated 120km south-west of Johannesburg, the astrobleme is a UNESCO World Heritage Site.
Nelson Mandela’s Legacy Officially, there are places of interest throughout South Africa for tourists wishing to follow the iconic statesman’s life journey. Now a World Heritage site, Robben Island lies off Cape Town, and is where he spent 18 of his 27 years in prison. Tourists also make the pilgrimage to the Eastern Cape village of Qunu, which was both his home during his young years, and his burial place.
Vilakazi Street, Orlando West, Soweto, is the only street in the world that has been home to two Nobel Laureates, Nelson Mandela and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Mandela’s house is now a museum. Also in Orlando West is the Hector Pieterson Memorial, commemorating youth resistance against apartheid..
The Smoking Mirror of Relationships. It’s very easy to point fingers and blame others for making us sad, angry or upset… The secret is, we would not have felt those emotions in the first place if they were not in us already. What? Strange concept, right? The way we talk, treat others, behave and carry ourselves is all based on our perception of ourselves. Ever heard of the expression; as he thinks in his heart so is he? How does this work exactly? If you believe you are average, you will behave and treat others average, who will in turn, treat you average. Your subconscious mind will make sure you behave and feel average in order to keep this perception manifested (This is a function of the subconscious mind). Can you see why it’s difficult for some people to just boost their confidence and change their self-image? The smoking mirror of relationships have 2 kinds of smoke:
1. The smoke on the sides;
In relationships the perception you have of yourself as well as the other person will affect your relationship with them IMMENSELY. For example; Jen’s perception is that her husband does not understand her and does not have the ability to comfort her emotionally. Jen’s subconscious mind takes this perception and ONLY shows her this as well as provokes her to behave / speak / react in ways that influences her husband to not understand or comfort her emotionally. As also said by Stephen R. Covey, in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People; People will act the way you treat them. What is the solution then?
Say for instance Jen DECIDES that she has the key to create her relationship the way she wants it, she can then ask her subconscious mind to show her ways to change in herself that will lead her husband to understand her and comfort her emotionally. Let us look at another example; Luke might have a victim-like mind-set, which means, he will take offence from most people’s comments and experience that he is always the victim. The subconscious will keep putting him in situations where he is the victim. Remember the subconscious mind only does its job, which in this case is; maintaining all your perceptions.
2. In the middle of the mirror clouding your judgement;
All the things that annoy you of the other person only annoy you because you do them too. Lol… Yes, you read correctly! Here is an example; Paul hates it when his wife leaves her towel on the floor and this is because Paul sometimes leaves things on the floor too – just not necessarily a towel. Another example would be John gets angry when his mother tells him what to do. He, on the other hand, boss people around by never asking
them politely, but only command what he wants.
What is the smoke here?
If something someone does makes you angry, sad, annoyed, upset, etc., find the root
reflection in yourself FIRST. The smoke makes us believe that the other person is
responsible for our emotions instead of searching for the solution in ourselves.
This is not easy to control, as I mentioned earlier; it’s easier to blame others… You have
to make a conscious decision to always be alert of your perceptions and reflections.
What can you do to ensure a clean sparkly mirror?
Step 1: Monitor your thoughts
Step 2: Change your inner voice; what do you say to yourself about YOU and others
Step 3: Change your perception about yourself and others
Step 4 : Find the reflection ( it’s very rarely the other person’s reflection)
Need help with this?
Take a Leap Coaching can help you find your wings!!!
Visit www.takealeapcoaching.com for more information or articles
Or contact Elsa Cronje at 0825401673 / firstname.lastname@example.org
You took one look at those big brown eyes, floppy ears and wagging tail, and it was love at first sight. Dogs are a constant source of companionship and fun, but bringing one into your home is a life-long responsibility. If they aren’t trained correctly, they can wreak havoc on your life and house. Dogs need to be trained so they know their limits and what is expected of them.
According to trainer Erica Curtis, CPDT, you need to choose the right dog for your family. Consider your home’s chaos level and current to-do list when selecting your perfect pup, particularly if you have children under the age of five. As Curtis says, “If you don’t have time to learn about and train your dog, it may make sense to wait a few years until your family is ready to care for a pet.”
And once you are ready to bring a new puppy or dog into your family, “choose the kindest, gentlest training techniques possible,” she suggests. “Don’t threaten your dog, either mentally or physically, and always use positive reinforcements like food, praise or playtime toys to get the results you want.”
There are a myriad number of dog training ideologies available. While different methods or combinations of methods will prove effective for different families, these DIY training tips will help your dog become a perfect (or close-to-perfect) canine citizen and family member.
This crucial command helps your dog learn impulse control. “The simplest way to teach sit is to hold a treat like a magnet to the dog’s nose, then guide it up,” says trainer Sarah Westcott, CPDT. “Typically, in an attempt to continue following the treat, the dog will put his rear end on the floor. As soon as he does, praise him and give him the treat.
After a few trials, begin to say sit immediately, before guiding the dog into position. From there, it is very important to quickly remove the food lure from your hand. If you do not, your dog will only sit if you show him you have a treat for him.” This command is key to teaching your dog to not inappropriately jump up on people he encounters.
Teaching the command come will enable you to keep your dog safe, particularly if outdoor off-leash time will be part of your lifestyle. But it’s also a word to shun if your dog requires more play time than is currently built into his routine. “When working on this command, make sure the result of the behavior is more rewarding than anything else in the environment,” recommends Westcott. “If you call your dog to you, but then immediately put his leash on and leave the park, your dog will quickly realize that come is a word to avoid if he wants more play time.”
To teach this command, stand next to your dog, say come and then jog away, encouraging your dog to chase you. When he comes back to you, give him a reward, such as a combination of food and praise.
An important command for dogs that beg for food at the dinner table, lie down is utilized to send your four-legged friend to a designated place in the home during meal times, or when company comes to call, until he is released from that spot. Start out by taking your dog to the spot you have decided upon, such as his bed or crate. Consistently use the same command, such as time to lie down. When your dog lies down, give him positive reinforcements, like a treat and/or praise for the behavior. Then, wait 10-15 seconds and release your dog from the spot.
Continually repeat this exercise, building up the time your dog remains in the lie down position. Slowly increase the amount of time your dog spends in this position before you reward him, and increase the physical distance between you and your dog when the lie down command is given. Give repeated positive reinforcements to your dog for obeying. If needed, physically bring your dog back to his special spot until he understands what you want, and never forget to praise and reward him for this behavior.
Taking your dog for walks is important for his mental and physical health. But nothing is more uncomfortable than having your dog yank you off your feet and race half-way down the block. It’s important for your canine companion to remember who is in control, especially when squirrels or smelly garbage beckons. Being outside is fun and stimulating for your dog, and it is natural for him to want to gallop toward sights and smells that interest him.
The first thing to remember is that dogs often pull on their leashes because they are full of excess energy. Therefore, the first rule is to make sure your dog is getting enough exercise. When training your dog not to pull on his leash, walk at a brisk pace. If your dog pulls, immediately stop walking and give a tight pull back on the leash. Call your dog back to your side and give the sit command. Reward the sit behavior with a treat and/or praise and then resume walking. Repeat as needed and reward your dog for walking at your side without pulling. “Consistent, positive reinforcement and a training program such as Emma Parsons’ Click to Calm can significantly support results here, as well as diminish leash aggression,” suggests Westcott.
Mastery of the down command enables your dog to show you a high level of respect, yet also helps keep your dog safe from harm. To teach your dog down, first command him to sit. With a treat held between your thumb and forefinger, lower your hand towards the ground slowly. Your dog will follow the treat with his nose until your hand is at ground level. At this point, your dog will either be completely down on the ground or hunched over in a semi-down position. Slowly pull the much-coveted treat away from your dog, forcing him to follow your fingers and slump further toward the ground. When your dog is completely in the down position, give the treat to him and praise him effusively.
Eventually, the word down, and your hand movement, will be enough of an incentive for your dog to obey this command. Never use your dog’s collar as a tool when learning the down command, as this may feel like coercion, and cause your dog to resist the behavior.
A gentle, firm hand will not only keep your dog happy, but also go a long way toward keeping both him and the people he comes into contact with safe. As with every family member, your furry friend has responsibilities. As your dog’s owner, your job is to give him the tools he needs to live a happy, healthy and long life.
“About a month ago a person started sending me inappropriate e-mails and posting lewd comments and messages on my Facebook and Google Plus pages. I’ve tried blocking the person and telling them to stop, but he or she keeps changing their email address and user profile and keeps coming back. I don’t even want to look at my phone or computer anymore. Is there anything I can do?”
Social media harassment has been on the rise with victims suffering at the hands of unknown harassers hiding facelessly behind an electronic façade from where they do their dirty work – changing their online persona as necessary to continue harassing their victims and evade identification. Given that the harasser is unidentifiable, victims are unsure as to what they can do to stop the offending action.
The good news is that victims are not without recourse. In 2013 the Protection from Harassment Act (“PHA”) came into operation. PHA seeks to assist victims of harassment from known and unknown harassers.
The PHA definition of harassment is wide and includes amongst other things, directly or indirectly engaging in conduct that causes harm or inspires the reasonable belief that harm may be caused to the victim or a related person through engaging in verbal, electronic or any other communication, irrespective of whether or not a conversation ensues; the sending, delivering or causing the delivery of letters, telegrams, packages, facsimiles, electronic mail or other objects to the victim or a related person; or conduct which amounts to sexual harassment. This definition will thus include the cyberbullying and online harassment as you have described.
PHA provides for the issuing of a protection order and the enforcement thereof by our Magistrates Courts in what is a relatively informal and cost effective process, which can be launched by any person by completing the prescribed forms with the Clerk of the Court. The matter will then be placed before a Magistrate who can issue a protection order against a perpetrator.
Where the perpetrator is unknown and is using social media and electronic platforms to conduct the harassment from, PHA empowers the Magistrates Court to issue a directive to electronic communication service providers to provide the full details as per their records of the perpetrator using the accounts or email address through which the harassing action is being conducted. PHA also empowers the Court to order the SAPS to conduct an investigation into the harassment in order to identify the perpetrator. PHA further requires the electronic communication service providers and SAPS to report to the Court after having been ordered to provide the information and/or conduct the investigation.
Besides identifying the details of an account holder, it is as yet not clear what the obligations of a social media service provider are to protect a victim from harassment via their site and whether they can incur liability. This aspect has not served before our Courts, but international case law relating to defamation could perhaps give guidance here in that in countries such as the USA and United Kingdom the service providers who provide a platform for defamatory statements to be published and then do not remove them, after being informed that the nature of the statements are defamatory and/or untrue, have been held liable.
For now it is advisable that you consider obtaining legal advice in respect of the possibility of enforcing your rights in terms of PHA. You can also consider informing the social media service provider of the harassing action with a request to take steps against the relevant account holder and to remove the harassing comments. For many of these service providers their good name and reputation will ensure that they take improper conduct via their platforms seriously and also take steps to curb such conduct.
Ahhh, the joys of summertime picnics with friends and family! But sometimes, uninvited guests sneak into your outdoor feast (and we’re not talking about your strange neighbor or cousin). To keep insects from biting, stinging or annoying you – and just as importantly, to keep them away from your food – follow these 13 surefire, all-natural tips:
1. Turn your body into a bug repellant. By eating certain foods, you can repel many insects. For example, munch on a clove of garlic every day for three days before a picnic. As you sweat out the garlic odor, it repels many insects. You can also take 1 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar three times a day for three days before the picnic, too.
2. Use the power of produce. Rubbing a slice of onion over your skin can be a good way to keep away mosquitoes and other biting insects. Fresh orange or lemon peels also work. And another time-honored approach to keep gnats and mosquitoes at bay is to moisten a cloth or cotton ball with white vinegar and rub it over your exposed skin. All these work on your picnic table as well; wipe it with vinegar or onion, for example, and bugs will stay away.
3. Be vanilla. Turns out that bugs don’t like the smell of vanilla. Dilute 1 tablespoon vanilla extract with 1 cup water and wipe the mixture on your exposed skin (and if you wish, your picnic tablecloth) to discourage mosquitoes, blackflies, and ticks.
4. Spray some natural mint mouthwash. Insects do not like the smell of mint in any form. Transfer your favorite natural mint mouthwash into a spray container and spray it on yourself and the area around you while outdoors.
5. Plant garlic, mint, and rosemary. Naturally ward away bugs from your patio meals by planting these three plants in decorative pots or your outdoor garden. They’ll keep the bugs away, plus you can use them in your cooking.
6. Turn on a fan. Set up a portable fan facing your outdoor food and eating areas, and turn it on to a calm breeze while you serve and entertain. The wind from the fan will make it difficult for bugs to fly in and pester you and your guests.
7. Don’t wear heavy perfumes or scents. Stay away from wearing heavily scented shampoos, body sprays, perfumes, or deodorants while outdoors. The fragrances can attract bugs and the stings that follow.
8. Leave sticky sweets at home. Insects are particularly drawn to foods like melon, grapes, peaches, fruit juices, and soda – to them, they’re like flower nectar. They can easily detect these foods, and will be persistent in their pursuit. While they may be terrific summer foods, avoid them at outdoor meals, or keep in well-sealed containers that you open only when everyone is ready to have some.
9. Set up separate food tables for bugs. One clever bug-battling tactic is to put plates of sweet foods (things like watermelon rinds, overripe peaches, or a large bowl of colored sugar water) several meters away from your serving and eating areas, so the bugs feast separately from you and your guests. Keep your garbage cans far away as well, as bugs will flock to them for your leftovers.
10. Cover all drinks. Only serve drinks in covered cups or bottles, and drink through a straw. This is particularly important if your drink is sweetened. If you don’t have covered cups, use aluminum foil and poke a hole for a straw.
11. Light some candles. Smoke repels mosquitoes and flies. Tiki torches and citronella candles add ambiance to outdoor entertaining, anyway. Plus, they’re affordable, effective and have a pleasant scent.
12. Float your table. The best way to keep ants off your table is to put the feet in wide containers filled with water. Ants won’t be able to make it across the water to climb up.
13. Cover up with a colander. A simple wire-mesh colander can be used to keep bugs off dinner. If you are setting up a buffet-style meal, an upside-down colander over a plate of food protects it, while keeping the dish on display. You can also buy domed food covers or nylon netting