The Smoking Mirror of Relationships. It’s very easy to point fingers and blame others for making us sad, angry or upset… The secret is, we would not have felt those emotions in the first place if they were not in us already. What? Strange concept, right? The way we talk, treat others, behave and carry ourselves is all based on our perception of ourselves. Ever heard of the expression; as he thinks in his heart so is he? How does this work exactly? If you believe you are average, you will behave and treat others average, who will in turn, treat you average. Your subconscious mind will make sure you behave and feel average in order to keep this perception manifested (This is a function of the subconscious mind). Can you see why it’s difficult for some people to just boost their confidence and change their self-image? The smoking mirror of relationships have 2 kinds of smoke:

1. The smoke on the sides;
In relationships the perception you have of yourself as well as the other person will affect your relationship with them IMMENSELY. For example; Jen’s perception is that her husband does not understand her and does not have the ability to comfort her emotionally. Jen’s subconscious mind takes this perception and ONLY shows her this as well as provokes her to behave / speak / react in ways that influences her husband to not understand or comfort her emotionally. As also said by Stephen R. Covey, in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People; People will act the way you treat them. What is the solution then?
Say for instance Jen DECIDES that she has the key to create her relationship the way she wants it, she can then ask her subconscious mind to show her ways to change in herself that will lead her husband to understand her and comfort her emotionally. Let us look at another example; Luke might have a victim-like mind-set, which means, he will take offence from most people’s comments and experience that he is always the victim. The subconscious will keep putting him in situations where he is the victim. Remember the subconscious mind only does its job, which in this case is; maintaining all your perceptions.

2. In the middle of the mirror clouding your judgement;
All the things that annoy you of the other person only annoy you because you do them too. Lol… Yes, you read correctly! Here is an example; Paul hates it when his wife leaves her towel on the floor and this is because Paul sometimes leaves things on the floor too – just not necessarily a towel. Another example would be John gets angry when his mother tells him what to do. He, on the other hand, boss people around by never asking
them politely, but only command what he wants.
What is the smoke here?
If something someone does makes you angry, sad, annoyed, upset, etc., find the root
reflection in yourself FIRST. The smoke makes us believe that the other person is
responsible for our emotions instead of searching for the solution in ourselves.
This is not easy to control, as I mentioned earlier; it’s easier to blame others… You have
to make a conscious decision to always be alert of your perceptions and reflections.
What can you do to ensure a clean sparkly mirror?

Step 1: Monitor your thoughts

Step 2: Change your inner voice; what do you say to yourself about YOU and others

Step 3: Change your perception about yourself and others

Step 4 : Find the reflection ( it’s very rarely the other person’s reflection)
Need help with this?
Take a Leap Coaching can help you find your wings!!!
Visit for more information or articles
Or contact Elsa Cronje at 0825401673 /


knysna-munKnysna residents have halted the construction of a mosque in the town, arguing that it would contravene several municipal by-laws.

Last year the Knysna Muslim Council received approval from the Knysna municipality for their application to rezone and develop a 1 277m² property.

But 22 Rawson Street homeowners have objected to the construction and have been joined by the Knysna Ratepayers’ Association (KRA) in opposing the municipality’s ruling.

They are citing various reasons, from access and parking in Rawson Street being limited to the municipality transgressing its own bylaws.

Knysna Muslim Council (KMC) chairperson Omar Essa said they had received documentation for the appeal against the municipality’s decision.

“The objectors have applied to the Western Cape High Court to appeal the decision and now everything has been put on hold,” said Essa.

Muslims in the area started the process of finding a space and funding construction of the mosque back in 2013. Numerous stumbling blocks had halted the project, including the current opposition from the ratepayers.

Residents have also questioned the effect the development would have on the architectural vision for Knysna. A manager at a local pub and grill adjacent to the site of the proposed mosque said objections from some of the resident were justified.

“There’s a lot of people who are not happy about it (the mosque), especially over the issue of parking. Where are these people going to park?” she asked.

She said some owners of expensive flats in the area had also objected. “Some of the flats have fantastic lagoon views, but instead of looking at the lagoon, their view will now be obstructed by the mosque.”

Zoning for residential and worship zones differ and the KMC had successfully applied for and received approval for rezoning of the property. The maximum height for buildings in residential zones may not exceed 8.5m, while worship zones have a maximum of 12m.

Parking must be allocated for the 150-strong congregation with one bay per six seats as stipulated by the by-law, which means that provision has to be made for 25 bays and 60 bays for double that number.

Noise regulations have also been considered a factor and had been brought up with the application process of the mosque.

The call to prayer or “athaan” is normally done over a loud speaker. The KMC agreed to proceed without the use of a loudspeaker in conforming to the noise requirements.

KRA attorney Franci Joubert said objections to the construction of the mosque was neither religious nor political. “Our application is the start of the legal process as the municipality has not followed their own by-laws and regulations.”

The application has been submitted to the municipality as they are the first respondent, and the KMC as they are the second. Joubert said that all further questions must be referred to KRA spokesperson Mick Hudspith.

Hudspith confirmed only that they have an application appealing the rezoning and immediately hung up.

The Knysna municipality said they received the review application and have appointed an attorney to oppose it. Municipal manager Grant Easton said: “At the moment the matter is sub judice and we cannot comment further.”•


Monday 6th October 2014
– Shoreline Series 2 : Episode 11 of 14
City of Durban
South Africa’s busiest port with multicultural history
10H00 at Formosa Garden Village Lounge
Co-ordinator: Christo Vlok 044-533-5155

Tuesday 7th October 2014
– Italian Conversation
09H45 at 12 Challenge Drive
Co-ordinator: Brenda Hardy 044-533-5489

Wednesday 8th October 2014
– Credit Card Fraud
Johan van Rensburg of Nedbank talks about
credit card fraud and how to avoid it
10H00 at Formosa Garden Village Lounge
Co-ordinator: Ian Hogan 044-533-6980

Wednesday 8th October 2014
– U3A Plett Social Bridge Club
General lessons for improving players, help
and supervised Bridge in a friendly atmosphere
13H30 at the Angling Club
Co-ordinator: Michael Webb 082-226-7280

Friday 10th October 2014
– French Conversation
10H00 Meet at 7 Glennifer Street
Co-ordinator: Merle Decot 044-533-5879

Friday 10th October 2014
– Mah-jong
Learn and play this ancient and fascinating game
13H30 at Formosa Garden Village Small Dining Room
Co-ordinator: Amelia White 044-533-0113

Die boom van GOED en KWAAD

Danie praat inheems

In seker die bekendste “storieboek” oor ons omgewing se woude “Kringe in ‘n bos” deur Dalene Matthee, staan daar op p.34:

“Saul het selfs geweet watter boom die Boom van Goed en Kwaad is: die geelhoutboom.  Tot die olifante weet dit.  Dis die enigste boom in die hele Bos waarvan hulle nie ‘n blaartjie sal vreet nie, nie ‘n stukkie bas van sal afskeur nie.  Nie van ‘n upright nie, nie van ‘n kalander nie.”

Maar amper, amper was die geelhoutbome uitgewis as gevolg van die mens se gulsigheid om meer en meer geelhout af te kap vir gebruike soos onder andere – kan jy dit glo – spoorwegdwarslêers.  Gelukkig is daar ingegryp en genadiglik het ‘n aantal van die eeue-oue reuse van die bos oorgebly.

Naby aan die indraaipad na Nature’s Valley (onder in die Grootrivierpas) staan een so ‘n ou reus wat sy storie tot vandag toe kan vertel danksy die bewaringsbewustheid van een man, Hendrik Barnardo.

Die volgende aanhaling uit “The story of Nature’s Valley” vertel die storie:  (“The story of Nature’s Valley” is by die Nature’s Valley Trust beskikbaar.)

“With the building of the Groot River Pass there appeared on the scene a young man who lived all his life in the valley, raising three families and dying there.  This was Hendrik Jacobus Hermanus Barnardo, also known as Hendrik Grootrivier.  Apparently he advised Bain to build the passes on old elephant paths.  He was also one of the first tree conservationists in the area.

When Bain was building the Groot River pass, Barnardo stood guard in front of a massive Yellowwood tree and threatened to shoot any engineer who came near the tree to chop it down.

Today, after the pass has been rebuilt many times, it still makes a detour around Barnardo’s Yellowwood tree!  Although he made money from timber, he always tried to protect what nature handed out to us. His motto was: If you chop down a tree you are obliged to plant six in its place.”

Foto: Volgens oorlewering is dit die boom wat Hendrik met sy geweer beskerm het.  Dit staan op die draai net ná die ingang na die De Vasselot-kamp (van Sanparke) onder in die Vallei. Danie Muller 082 320 1833 of 044 531 6790 E-pos Danie woon in Nature’s Valley in die “Oupa Daan”-huis in St George’s Laan 245


Bome - Geelhout Boom van goed en kwaad



Danie praat inheems


Amaryllis belladonna – March lily, Naked lady. In die laatsomer is hierdie besondere bolplant met sy opvallende pienk blomme oral in die Wes-Kaap in tuine en in die veld te sien.  In die Phyl Martin Park in Nature’s Valley is daar nou pragtige voorbeelde. Amaryllis verwys na ‘n pragtige vroulike Griekse skaapwagter en belladonna beteken “mooi vrou”.  Maar dit is nie net ‘n gewone mooi vrou nie – sy is kaal!  Die volksnaam “Naked lady” verwys na die kaal stam sonder blare maar met blomme bo-aan . . .  Die blare verskyn eers nà die blomme.  Die lang groenerige persrooi stam is ongeveer 50cm lank.  Daar kan tot 12 blomme op ‘n stam voorkom.  Die lig- tot donkerpienk blomme is gewoonlik 10cm lank.  In die somer verdroog die blare en die bol word dormant. Maartlelies kweek maklik van saad.  Die sagte sappige wit tot pienk saad moet geplant word as dit nog vars is.  Ongelukkig neem saailinge 3 – 6 jaar om te blom.  In tuine sal dit gewoonlik dan elke jaar daarna blom maar in fynbosveld na ‘n brand verskyn periodiek massas blomme.  ‘n Vinniger voortplantingsmetode is om die groot bolle te verdeel gedurende die dormante tyd.  Die droogtebestande bolle moet vlak geplant word. In hul natuurlike habitat groei Maartlelies meestal in ‘n rotsagtige omgewing.  Die beste plek om dit te plant sal dus in ‘n rotstuin wees.  Maartlelies word soms saam met Agapanthus geplant waar die immergroen blare van die Agapanthus mooi “rompies” sal vorm vir die naakte stamme van die Amaryllis. Die familie amaryllidaceae is deel van ongeveer 60 genera wat meestal in suidelike Afrika voorkom met kleiner verspreidings in die Andes in Suid-Amerika.  Ander bekende genera in Suid-Afrika is Clivia, Crinum (Bos- / Kaapse kus- /,  vlei-lelies),  Cyrtanthus (Vuur / George-lelie), Nerine / Nerina, en Scadoxus (Verf- of poeierkwas).  Lede van hierdie groot familie kom oral in die Suid-Kaap voor. Meeste van bostaande inligting is verkry uit die gesaghebbende webblad van plantzafrica.  Wenk: tik op Google die naam van enige plant waaroor jy inligting soek plus die woord “plantzafrica”, bv watsonia plantzafrica. Geniet die laatsomer!

Kontak Danie by: Selfoon 082 320 1833 of 044 531 6790 E-pos Hy woon in Nature’s Valley in die “Oupa Daan”-huis in St George’s Laan 245.



The National Youth Development Agency, in collaboration with the Youth and Local Economic Development Offices of the Mossel Bay Municipality, will host a job preparedness workshop and business awareness training programme from 5 to 6 December 2013.

Young people between the ages of 18 and 35 years are invited to attend these capacity building workshops.

Application forms can be obtained from the municipal offices, libraries, LED Office in the Goods Shed, the Municipality’s Youth Office at the Indoor Sports Centre in Samson Street, Extension 23 (next to the Roman Catholic Church) as well as from the community development workers.

Written applications must be accompanied by a CV and certified copy of the applicant’s identity document.

Completed application forms can be submitted to the community development workers or at the LED office at the Goods Shed or at the Youth Office by not later than 10:00 on 29 November 2013.

Enquiries can be addressed to Yolande van Aswegen at (044) 606-5224 or 0822966199 or Sharion Louw at (044) 606-5250 or 0826653533.



Jonathan Livingstone

Practical goals and therapeutic problems

People often present for therapy when they can’t achieve something which they should be able to achieve. This may be delivering a presentation with confidence; having the confidence to say no; being confident in social situations; establishing boundaries; and so on. The client’s goal is tangible and practical.

The therapist obviously can’t directly help the client to achieve a practical goal. The client doesn’t need practical help. She knows intuitively that there’s something in herself that is stopping her from achieving her goal. She needs the therapist’s help to identify and resolve something internal – the therapeutic problem.

Sometimes, where the emotion is part-and-parcel of the practical problem, the therapeutic problem seems more readily identifiable. For example, if someone is suffering from presentation anxiety the emotional aspect of the therapeutic problem, anxiety, is readily identifiable. Why is the person not able to deliver his presentation confidently to an audience? Because he feels extremely anxious.

Very often, however, the emotional aspect of the therapeutic problem is not at all clear. For example, a person may have no idea why he manifests addictive behaviour, or has obsessional thoughts, or can’t bring himself to make decisions. The emotion may not be apparent. Even when the emotion is obvious, the therapeutic problem may be far from being understood – a person may feel sad, upset or angry for no reason he can fathom.

The uncomfortable emotion (such as anxiety, anger, upset) is one aspect of the therapeutic problem. The primary aspect is a negative and limiting belief. This belief is unconscious, and was formed by experience in the past.

Examples of a limiting belief are: I must not make a mistake (or I will be ridiculed); I am unloveable (so I will cut myself off from others to guard against disappointment); I must be approved of by everyone (so I must not speak out); I am of very little significance (so my viewpoint is worthless); I am powerless in the face of others’ anger (so I must avoid conflict); I am a sexual target (so I will make myself fat and ugly); and so on.

Having established the therapeutic problem, the therapeutic task is to uncover the experiences that created it and help the client to navigate these experiences successfully, enabling her to achieve her practical goal in the present.

Jonathan Livingstone MA is author of The Therapist Within You. For an appointment call 079 0199 449; email •


Gifted Moments

“Yesterday is but a memory, tomorrow is but a dream, all we have is the present, which is why it is called a GIFT”
Our modern lives seem to be steeped in distraction allowing little time or space for contemplation of how much we have to appreciate each day. Basic necessities such as a roof over our heads, food on the table and work that enables us to provide are often taken for granted. Our blessings get “lost” in our apparent absorption in past glories or trials, preparing for happiness that always seems to be just around the corner based on “when I have”…..
Few people ever experience “perfect” moments, where they have the ideal job, joyous family relationships, and a supportive social life. Many people are focused so intently on creating the ideal scenario in their external circumstances that internal acknowledgement and appreciation for what is currently present is seldom experienced.
Yet there is an abundance of gifts in almost every moment of each person’s day – your work may not be your dream job, but to the unemployed you have their dream! Your family may squabble and be demanding, but survivors of tragedies would consider you blessed, you may not be perfectly fit, but being able to walk, see, hear, think are all privileges that many people do not have.
It is all a matter of perspective, but taking a step back from perpetual busyness and the consumer lifestyle may feel difficult to achieve. Try to take five minutes out, consciously, twice each day and use your five senses to become completely aware of all the wonderful blessings surrounding you in those moments.
When you realise how each moment of the day is steeped in uncountable riches you are living in the GIFT of the present. The more moments that you can live like this, the more consistently you are creating a past that is a beautiful memory and can look forward to a future that may not be as perfect as you want it to be, but it can be immeasurably better than focusing on all that you don’t and may never have.
There is no way to happiness – happiness is the way. Moment by moment appreciation is only the beginning.
Have a happy week…..moment by moment. •

Ligaments and Tendons: What’s the Diff?

People often talk about tendons and ligaments as if they are the same thing, but these two types of soft tissue actually perform different functions for the body.
A tendon connects muscle to bone. These tough, yet flexible, bands of fibrous tissue attach to the skeletal muscles that move your bones. Tendons essentially enable one to move since they act as intermediaries between the muscles creating the motion of the bones.Untitled-1
I’d say the most famous tendon is the Achilles tendon which connects the muscles of your calf to your heel. Also, if you watch the tops of your hands while you type, you can see your tendons at work. Pretty cool, huh?
So what’s a ligament? If you want to know then read more
Ligaments are similar to tendons, but they connect bone to bone and help to stabilize joints. They are composed mostly of long, stringy collagen fibers creating short bands of tough fibrous connective tissue.
Ligaments are slightly elastic, so they can be stretched to gradually lengthen increasing flexibility. Athletes and dancers stretch their ligaments to make their joints more supple, and to prevent injury.
Here’s a cool fact: The term double-jointed refers to people who have more elastic ligaments.
You might have heard of some of the ligaments found in the knee since they often tear, especially the ACL (Anterior Cruciate Ligament) when skiing. In fact four ligaments connect the tibia (shin bone) to the femur (thigh bone) to provide structure for the knee.
Ligaments v Tendon Injuries
How do you know if you have damaged your ligament or your tendon?
Well to be honest the reason there is such a confusing overlap of what is what and where, is because the two are very alike. The simplest way to put it is that tendons attach muscle to bone and ligaments attach bone to bone. Sounds simple enough right? Well, the problem most people have is distinguishing between a ligament injury and a tendon injury due to their symptoms being very alike. So in order to understand them a little better know how to treat the things, we need to delve a little deeper…
Another reason these two get so mixed up is that both tendons and ligaments are made up of this connective tissue stuff called collagen fibres. However how this collagen is formed together is very different in each. In a tendon the fibres are parallel, allowing for more elasticity which if you think about the way muscles work and the amount of movement involved, this makes them more suited to connecting the muscle to the bone. The fibres in ligaments however criss-cross to keep the ligament stable and ultimately to support, stabilise and strengthen the bone joints.
Ligament Injuries Although ligaments are strong and rigid by nature, strains and sudden forces can cause them to rupture and tear which is a common sports injury. Damage is caused when the fibres become torn and the severity depends on the extent to which they have torn and the pain experienced as a result. Because of the lack of blood supply to the tissue, sometimes tears become permanent which can end in their removal. Also, if a ligament is stretched past a certain point, it can result in the ligament never returning to its original state.
Anterior Cruciate Ligament (ACL) tears are the most common sport-related injury to the ligament. The ACL is found in the knee and is crucial for stability and therefore if torn, surgery may be required to correct the injury. The symptoms of an ACL injury are the feeling of your leg ‘giving-way’ followed by pain and swelling in the knee. Like with any potential ligament injury, If you feel you may have torn or damaged your ACL, it is crucial that you visit your doctor to confirm the injury and to rule out any other problems. Sometimes tears to the ACL do not always require surgical treatment however an untreated injury may result in further damage. These injuries are common in athletes, especially in sports such as football, rugby, hockey and basketball due to the high level of strain put on the knee through pivoting and lateral or twisting movements in the legs . These injuries can be prevented or treated with knee braces and supports.
Tendon Injuries Like with ligaments, tendons if over strained can become damaged and even snap. A partially torn tendon can cause swelling and discomfort but can be healed over time whereas a clean break in a tendon can cause a complete loss of movement and may result in permanent damage. The best treatment for an injured tendon would be to initially use an ice pack to reduce the swelling whilst keeping the injured area elevated. More serious damage or tears may require a splint in order to aid the healing process and as always that trusty taping and strapping can help with stabilising the area. In order to prevent damage to tendons, supports and braces can be used in order to give support to a vulnerable area as well as offering relief from an ongoing injury.
One of the most common tendon injuries in athletes is damage to the Achilles Tendon which connects the heel to the muscle in your lower leg and is caused by over strain or improper footwear. In order to prevent injury to this area, is to ensure that you warm up sufficiently before any vigorous sporting activity and also wearing supports which are specifically designed for that area.
Tendonitis is also a common injury in which involves the inflammation and swelling of a tendon resulting in pain and stiffness. This type of injury again can be caused through over straining of the tendon through sport and physical activity. Although an MRI or X-ray can confirm swelling of the tendon, a doctor can usually diagnose tendonitis without. Again, at the first signs of an inflamed tendon, an ice pack should be used to reduce the swelling and all physical activity should be stopped. Taking anti inflammatories can also help take any swelling down as well as offer some pain relief.
Researched By : Kátia C. Rowlands – Pilates Instructor & Personal Trainer – 082 513 4256